Tuesday, July 16, 2024

7 Ways Husband & Wife Quarrel Affects Children

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Adetunji Matthew
Adetunji Matthewhttp://www.aidthestudent.com
I’m Adetunji Matthew, an Economist, Social Media Manager, software Developer/Marketer Sales Consultant, and Ecompreneur. I’m popularly known as “Matt” As an artist and designer, I aim to create something brilliant daily. Eager to learn more, I use my free time to get better at w hat interests me, whether it's researching, teaching, or even something entirely new.
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Quarrel between husband and wife is not just something I have read or watched on Television. It is something I have experience. When I was a kid, my parents use to quarrel almost all the time and it really hurts me back then.

It is normal for you to have a misunderstanding with your husband or wife. However, it is not a good idea to quarrel and fight in the presence of your children. It does a whole lot of harm to them.

Research shows that those who grew up in homes with high levels of conflict usually have more physical health problems, emotional problems, and social problems later in life.

Let’s look at the top 7 ways fight between you and your husband or wife can have negative effects on your kids. Are you ready?

1. Emotional Effect:

The first attack of fight and quarrel between parents is on the emotional nature of a child. Your children get deeply emotional when they witness such fights.

Some children express their emotions through crying, screaming or some children don’t. They keep quiet, tolerate the situation, pretend to be strong while in their minds they are screaming their lungs out.

Both situations are severe in their own ways. One can assume that they can get along with such situations as time progresses, but that is a very wrong assumption. A child cannot forget the expressions, words, gestures of her/his parents when she/he had witnessed them fighting.

This emotional imbalance affects their health, too. If I speak for myself, for example, I constantly think about these things and as a result, I cannot sleep at night. Insomnia is depressing and hectic. It affects the energy level of a person, it gets one fatigued all the time.

Recommended: 20 questions to ask your kids after school

2. It Affects Their Confidence Level:

Another problem that occurs due to fights between husbands and wives is that a child lacks his/her confidence level. Severely. It just drops down exponentially.

Somehow, a thought enters her/his mind “Are ‘they’ fighting because of me? Should I do something about it?”, while these aren’t the things which s/he should be thinking about at any age.

It just kills them inside because, even if they are willing, they CANNOT do anything. Such emotions of helplessness, restlessness are just disastrous for a child’s mental and physical health.

3. Quarrelling Affects Your Children’s Education:

How can your children focus when you are not giving them peace of mind? The mind of a child witnessing chronic parental fights is always preoccupied with the fights and arguments.

This makes it difficult for him to concentrate on tasks at hand, adversely affecting academic performance. Such an overworked mind can also pave the way to physical ailments and chronic illnesses.

Recommended: How to help your kids do well in school

4. They Won’t Be Comfortable At Home:

This was sooo me. Since there was no peace at home, I would prefer to stay back at school after closing or somewhere away from home.

Outside gives more rest of mind that a home where quarrel and fight is the order of the day. The more your children stay outside, the more your relationship with them get cold.

5. Impacts Their Personality:

It is not that parents don’t realize fighting in front of kids is bad, and many of them try to make amends in whatever ways they can think of.

However, the effect of these fights is like leaving footprints in clay there is no undoing once the deed is done.

Children who grow up watching their parents fight all the time tend to develop personality traits like bullying, escapism, compulsive behavior, inflexibility, and can be very difficult to get along with. This affects not only their personal but also their professional and social lives.

Read Also: 10 Secrets Of Successful Students And How To Apply Them

6. Insecurity:

A home is a child’s haven of love and care. Parents fighting in front of kids results in chaos and tension, leaving the child frightened, anxious and helpless. This feeling of insecurity can last a lifetime.

7. Low Self Esteem:

Insecurity and feelings of guilt and shame can make your little one feel unwanted and unworthy. This, in turn, results in low self-esteem which can be permanent and damaging in his long-term personal and professional relationships.

Children generally want to please both parents, and the pressure to take sides in a conflict can be distressing for them. They might not understand the basis of the conflict and take a side that might blow up the conflict to even bigger proportions.

It is important to note here that a lot of times this pressure to take sides comes from the parents themselves, which is rather unfortunate. Children should never ever be made the point of an argument, nor should they ever be pulled into an argument and made to take sides.


There are things that are normal to do in marriage. However, some of these things should not be done right before your kids. A perfect is fighting or insulting your partner. Please don’t destroy your kids emotionally and academically.

Feel free to share this with friends using the Facebook, Whatsapp and Twitter share buttons and don’t fail to drop your comment if you think this content is helpful.

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